Week 14: Love Always Hopes

One distinction between love and other forces is that love doesn’t end. With the onslaught of enemies and distractions to divide and destroy love, we need a Hope in our inner beings that rises up when all is lost. We need a Hope that passes our understanding, so that literally ‘when there is no hope’, there is still Hope.

It seems to me that hope usually doesn’t win in this life. We don’t end up experiencing joy, because too many bad things happen, love fades and gets lost, and all good things come to an end. The problem that we face with these thoughts as Christians is that they’re true. I have struggled with the thought that ‘sadness is all there is.’ There is no real joy. You may have a reason to celebrate, but then the next day brings the inevitable crash back down. I have struggled between the reality of sadness, and the truth of what Jesus came down to show us. After years of trying to figure out how both could be true, someone gave me a word from God, and I’ve lived off of it for years now. Someone finally got real with me. She said, “You’re right. In THIS world, there is no such thing as everlasting joy. You’ll never find it by searching here. But in GOD’S Kingdom, there is joy abounding!” I had an answer I could stand on.  Jesus came to earth to show us that we can bring this Kingdom and all its gifts (including joy) down to earth. What a beautiful hope that was implanted in my heart that day.

When all joy and hope are lost, I still have a hope. It doesn’t come from this world. It doesn’t come from my effort. It comes freely and wildly from heaven itself. Before I even came to know God, I felt the effects of this hope in my life. When I went through very dark times, contemplating ending it all, God gave me dreams so real and vivid that I can only explain them as complete and utter Hope. In the dream I would be happy, satisfied, and free, enjoying a beautiful moment, sometimes sitting on a beach, sometimes enjoying a mountain view. It may have been a trick of my brain, since it was so chemically imbalanced and dysfunctional, but I believe God’s hand was in it, purposed to implant a hope deep inside of me. No matter how bad I got, the dream was still there, and it was so real I felt it had to be a glimpse into my future*. There was hope.

(*Years later, I had a moment that matched one of these dreams, where I felt a peace and joy sitting alone on a beach on the other side of the world. The original dream may have been a trick of my brain, but my life actually brought this dream to pass, with an amazing feeling of satisfaction at the reality of it, and I have no earthly explanation for this.)

Eventually it was hope that brought me to God. I was seeking Him, without realizing it, and hope started to flow in. The amazing thing about hope is that it actually brings dead things to life. I was starting to feel alive. My eyes were being opened. I could feel my heart beating and blood flowing. And eventually I was feeling hope and love so intensely, I felt I was on fire compared to the cold, lifeless heart that I had before.

Hope is incredible.

So naturally, hope is an important part of love.

But there is an important distinction we need to make between Hope in Love, and selfish hope. Love cannot survive without hope, but selfish hope can also kill love. For instance, a parent might hope for a child to become something specific, all the while killing the very things that God actually intended for them.

Since today is my 9 year wedding anniversary to my beloved husband, I will use us as a reference. (Sorry babe.)

I married an artist, photographer, painter, musician, missionary. Without knowing it, I had hoped to keep him in a safe world, where he worked a boring job and we did fun and meaningful things together on the side. I honestly hoped he would become a plumber or electrician, something respectable because of its necessity and craft, but something that would also keep him, I’m ashamed to say, tame. I had a HOPE that he would be safe. Life would be easy. We would be NORMAL. I am now married to a police officer/ERT operator. Most of the things my husband does at work can not be discussed.  No, I didn’t get re-married, this is the same man. I did not even realize I had this selfish hope, until, thankfully, he did not meet my expectations. What I hoped for him was plainness and safety, but what I LOVE about him, is that he is, like God, totally wild and uncontrollable and unpredictable. Thank God, He placed a hope deep inside my husband that overrode my will for his life. If he followed my hope, instead of God’s call, I wouldn’t love and respect him the way I do today.

The worst part about this selfish hope is that it’s usually not what we really want anyway. I wouldn't be satisfied with a boring, predictable, tamed husband. What we really want, and what really satisfies us, is God’s plan. When we work and strive for our own plan, we end up unhappy AND confused that it didn’t bring joy. The best thing I can do for my husband, and my kids, and my friends, is to encourage them to seek and walk in God’s plan for their lives. For my husband, my goal is to help him stay on that path, because what I really want (beyond all my other desires for him) is for my husband to walk out God’s plan for his life. I also know that this is the BEST plan for MY life as well. My life will be so full of adventure and mystery and fun and meaning, as long as we’re on that path together.

Selfish hope will distinguish the love inside of you. Because even if this hope is fulfilled, it brings no joy or satisfaction with it. This is False Hope.

Be careful that your hopes for others and for yourself line up with God’s hopes. THIS is love: that we Hope for and earnestly seek God’s plan, that His Kingdom will be brought to THIS life. “Every good and perfect gift comes from above,” (James 1:17). When we experience joy and love and beauty in this life, we’re experiencing heaven! And we’re meant to be actively bringing heaven to earth daily. ‘Love always hopes’ is an excellent way to bring Heaven to earth.