Week 4: Love Does Not Boast

This is a funny one for me, as I come from a family of boasters.  We don’t mean any harm.  We would be genuinely happy for you if you did something great, so we assume if we do something great, you’ll be happy for us, too. I know it can be annoying. I’ve seen people’s faces. I’ve heard their comments. I’ve even seen people pull away and be bitter. Why? Why does it bother people so much when someone is bragging? Think about it. Is it really THAT big of a deal?

Well, God seems to think so.

Bragging is instantly annoying to others because it’s like saying, “I care more about myself than you.”  Generally, humans actually believe this, but bragging displays right out in the open (in your face), “I don’t care about you.” That isn’t actually what I’m thinking when I brag. It’s usually more like, “maybe if this person knew the things I do, they’ll like me and be my friend.”  How ironic.

If I actually loved everyone the way God called me to, I would be eager to hear what THEY have to say, not eager to tell them how great I am. 

In my case, and probably for a lot of others as well, it stems from an insecurity. If you catch me talking about myself, it’s usually because I’m so nervous we’ll be standing together in silence and awkwardness with nothing to say. I have explained recently to some women in my church that if I just stop talking and walk away, it’s because I generally don’t know how to carry on a conversation successfully, so I leave when I have nothing else to say. I’m not really sure what I’m nervous about, but nonetheless, in addition to loving better, I’m working on my people skills.

The original Greek word found in 1 Corinthians 13:4 means “to boast or point to oneself.” I like this phrase, “to point to oneself” because it is the opposite of love. Love points outward. Love lifts up, encourages, and exults. Not to itself but to God and others. Boasting is a form of selfishness. My fear of empty space in conversation is also a form of selfishness. If I cared more about you, maybe I’d be able to converse better with you. I’m not great on the spot, so usually when I know I’ll see someone, I think of a list of about 10 questions to ask them when the moment is ready. This is just an exercise for me to get better at talking and listening, but it’s also teaching me how to think about other people instead of myself.

If Love does NOT Boast, than maybe this week I should try to be a better listener, caring more about what others have to say than getting all my thoughts out. Want to try it with me?