No Fault Policy

This week has been trying as I’ve struggled with what it means to love in the area of “Not holding a record of wrongs”. How can we actually live like this? How can we actually LOVE like this? It doesn’t make sense. Am I supposed to forget everything done to me? Should the church focus solely on creating a scientific device that can search for grudges or complaints in my mind and erase the information so I no longer feel that way? Obviously, this is not the case. God doesn’t want me to be less aware, but more aware. The more I am wronged, the more opportunity I have to love. So how do I do this?

I woke up today and asked God to show me for the tenth time this week, "Please God, show me something!" He finally responded, or at least I finally heard His response. He said, “NO FAULT”. That’s it. He didn’t explain it. He didn’t expand. He just said “NO FAULT” and I know it was God because it didn’t relate to anything else I was thinking and it came out of nowhere.

NO FAULT.
In New York State, we have a policy for car accidents called No Fault. In an accident, someone can still technically be “at fault” because the police will issue tickets based on who caused the accident, but the person at fault will not be held responsible for the other person’s medical bills. If you are in an accident, and someone else is at fault, their insurance company is not responsible for you. Your own company has to pay your medical bills, which is why EVERY New York driver must have insurance. You have to cover your own butt if you get hurt.

How does that relate to LOVE?

I think not holding a record of wrongs doesn’t mean it’s never someone else’s fault. Sometimes it really is, and the judgment from the higher authority is still there. The ticket may still be issued by God, the ruling may be made. But I can not hold the offender at fault. I am not allowed to demand that they pay my hospital bills, or in other words, pay for my pain. They are not responsible to make up for the pain that they’ve caused me. I need to release this “right” in my heart and mind. I need to instill a No Fault policy in my heart towards those who wrong me.

The beauty of it is this: When I release them, I am released.

It’s the same as the chains I found myself in when I chose to walk in anger instead of love. Unforgiveness, or believing someone owes me a debt, puts me in chains or bindings. I am bound up in such a way that I am tied to the person I won’t forgive.

We think of forgiveness as releasing someone else, but when we forgive, we’re really releasing ourselves.

Love is selfless, so it’s full of grace and forgiveness.

I keep looking at all these Love attributes in the sense that if I follow them, it will be better for all of those around me. And it’s true, it will impact them, but it will also impact me. My life will be better when I walk in Love instead of bitterness, fear, resentment or anger, because I will be FREE.

That’s the point of “Love does not hold a record of wrongs”…Freedom.

Week 9: Love does not keep a record of wrongs

Throughout this Love challenge, I’ve been hearing some very difficult lines in my head. They keep repeating to me when I’m upset with someone, when I’m frustrated with my kids, when I’m unsure of what I want in life. They remind me of the Beatitudes or the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5, but in today’s wording.

If Jesus hadn’t come 2,000 years ago, and instead was here today, I think we’d have a few hundred youtube videos of Jesus standing in a parking lot saying the following:

It’s better to be taken advantage of, than to take advantage.
It’s better to be cheated, than to cheat.
It’s better to be abused, than to abuse.
It’s better to be offended, than to offend.
It’s better to suffer, than to cause suffering.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul is addressing some issues in the church of Corinth. One of the issues is the Corinthians bringing each other to court with lawsuits. This is really disappointing to Paul, so much so that he says to them, “Even to have such lawsuits with one another is a defeat for you. Why not just accept the injustice and leave it at that? Why not let yourselves be cheated?” (1 Corinthians 6:7)

Why not let yourself be cheated? It’s better than holding a record of wrong and demanding justice for the injustice done to you.

Ouch. I mean really. I’ve said ouch before, but this one could dramatically change my life.

I’ve been struggling with love because I’m finding that it’s always being the bigger person, always loving someone else more than yourself, always getting hurt but never being offended. I can’t help but wonder if this is really what God wants for us. I truly believe that the gospel is Good News, and that living in love is the best thing for us, and yet, when I look at it this way, it’s a really, really hard pill to swallow. The effort of swallowing this pill would be like trying to fit a camel through the eye of a needle. I’m not sure I can love like that, and I’m not even sure I want to.

I want to fight for injustice. I want to stand up for what I believe in. I want to stand up to bullies. I refuse to accept abuse or negativity.

But I’m not actually sure that’s right.

Do you see my struggle?

In the bible, Jesus only took a physical stand against injustice once, when he flipped the tables over at the temple. He was angry at the money-makers who were exploiting people who wanted God.

But other than that, Jesus didn’t really stand up to bullies. When crowds and mobs tried to kill him, he ran away or slipped through the crowd because the bible says it “wasn’t his time”. But eventually folks, it was his time, and instead of standing up to bullies, not only did he not even try to defend himself (read the conversation he had with Pontius Pilate) he allowed himself to be tortured and killed.

He healed the sick, he fed the hungry, he cast out demons. But even when they brought the adulteress woman to him, he didn’t seem to “fight for injustice” in the way that we think of fighting. He crouched down to the ground in silence, deep in thought, and finally made a soft and very wise comment that caught everyone off guard.

We think we’ve really grasped what Jesus came down to show us. But we’re still looking for an all-powerful king to come down and make everything right, just like the Jews were looking for. Because of this, they actually missed their king when he came.

Jesus seemed to have a more gentle approach that really throws us off.

I think this approach is love.

Think about Psalms, it’s full of injustice. But verse after verse, the writer is crying out for God to come with HIS justice. “How long, oh Lord, will you let me suffer?” “Devour my enemies.” "Make them a footstool underneath my feet." The psalmists were continually calling out to God to fight their battles FOR them, and waiting patiently on Him to do so. There is something here for us.

It’s hard. It’s so different than the way we live, but somehow if we can grasp this, I think we’ll make the world a better place.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, post a comment and tell me what you think.