Have you ever found yourself serving someone else or doing a nice deed for someone, and then realize that you actually did it for yourself? (You’ll know if afterwards you feel empty or even disappointed.) Or have you ever received a gift from someone, or had someone do something nice for you, and it seemed weird or out of place? When I analyze these situations, sometimes it’s because the person wanted to help me out of a desire to fill their own needs, not out of an overflow of love for me.
We do this. We serve and serve and get ourselves tired. Why are we tired? Because we’re not serving in love. We’re serving because we’re seeking our own approval, our own accomplishment, our own satisfaction at a job well done.
I hate to break it to you, I hate to break it to myself, but this is self-seeking.
Should I stop feeding the poor? No. Should I stop serving others? No. But at the same time, can I at least look at why I do the things I do?
Sometimes our acts of kindness or thinking of others is actually selfish. Ouch.
Is it better to not serve or think of others? No, I still think it’s better to serve, but be careful. If you get yourself all tired out for God (also known as Christian-burn-out), you’ll end up full of regret, possibly far away from God, and maybe even confused about why people don’t repay all your good deeds.
We see this in the church all the time.
Because we live in fear, not love. We try to follow the Word, do the right thing, serve others, etc, from a place of fear. If we actually loved, we’d serve with a different attitude. We’d be content, at rest, and not constantly searching for the next person to help and rescue and save. We’d be patiently waiting for instructions from God, AND since we’d be resting, we would be free to hear his direction and ready to go when it comes.
I don’t know how not-being-selfish turned into rest. Something which, by the way, God commands for us. It’s even in the 10 commandments. Weird. It’s right in there along with murder, stealing, coveting, adultery….how weird to also command rest. Maybe it’s important.
You would think the opposite of SELF-seeking would be OTHERS-seeking. But it’s not. The opposite of SELF-seeking is GOD-seeking, and there is an infinite amount of rest in that.
Jesus said the greatest commandment is to "love God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Luke 10:27) He could have just said love God with your heart, soul, mind and strength, but he repeated himself and added all those extra words because he was emphasizing the point. It was important! He said the second commandment is to "love your neighbor as yourself." So if our main focus and goal is to serve others, I think we’re actually missing a big piece. The only solution to self-seeking is to love God with all our strength, or in other words, be God-seeking, and THEN to love others as ourselves. It’s interesting that He doesn’t tell us to take our love for God and also love others with that same love. He says to love others as we would love ourselves. God is still priority here. So if I’m serving someone else, I really want to look at my heart and ask myself if I’m serving them because I want some kind of recognition, because it seems nice or right, or if I’m serving them because I love God so much!
It’s weird. I know. Go ahead and keep on serving, serving is good, but be aware of your heart. Is your love for God consuming all of your mind and soul and heart and strength? Because that should be priority, and it’s our only way to truly combat selfishness.
Walking in love one week at a time.
Showing posts with label service. Show all posts
Showing posts with label service. Show all posts
7/12/14
The Opposite of Pride (Part 2)
Humility. For me, it may be one of the most complicated subjects in the bible. We know we need to be humble. But somewhere along the lines, we settle for something that looks and feels like humility, but really is not. Part of it is the “victim” mentality that you may have read in the last post written by Heather Slagsvol. She gives such great insight into this “false humility” and I’m so grateful for her thoughts. It’s easier to seem humble when we’re constantly the victim, when bad things are always happening “to” us by others in all their pride and selfishness.
But then there’s this other part: the people who actually see themselves as unworthy or having no value. This is NOT true humility. But it’s certainly a tricky one because Philippians talks about Jesus’s humility which is SO CLOSE to ours that it’s no wonder we get it confused.
Here’s what it says:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Jesus is kind of looking at Himself as less than He really is here, right? He’s thinking about others as more important than himself (He’s Jesus, so this is obviously not true in the grand scheme of things). He’s not looking at Himself as equal to God (even though He was God in the flesh), but He emptied Himself (He became nothing) even to the point of being a lowly bond-servant (or slave). This is so incredible, because in that time a bond-servant was someone who was indebted to their master. Jesus literally became a slave to all of those that He loved.
This is a struggle for us, so imagine the struggle it was for the Jews, who were waiting for a mighty and powerful King to come and set everything right. Instead, Jesus came as a slave to all mankind, taking on their debts as His own and giving them everything, even to the point of death.
This is humility.
Doesn’t it seem like if we just keep looking down on ourselves and saying we’re nothing and constantly serving that we will be truly humble?
Somehow, this doesn’t add up. There’s more here than just the actions of humility. We also have to look at His heart. Jesus did all of these things because HE TRULY LOVED. He was lowly and humble because He knew the bigger picture, He knew what He had to do to draw us back to Him.
When I’m “humble”, looking down on myself, or wearing myself thin in my servitude to others, I have to look at myself and ask, “WHY?” Why am I doing it? Am I doing this so that others will lift me back up? Am I doing it to prove my worth by my work or deeds? Am I doing it because I want others to love me? Am I doing it because it’s the right thing to do?
It must be more than that. My humility, my laying down my life for someone else, my thinking of others as more highly than myself, MUST originate in love. It must NOT originate from sense of duty or thoughts of “I SHOULD”. True humility can only work because I honestly and fully LOVE the Savior of my soul and all the other children He’s created. If my heart begins with love, I believe I can be truly humble, not just walking in some ‘substitute humility’ that exhausts and cripples me.
But then there’s this other part: the people who actually see themselves as unworthy or having no value. This is NOT true humility. But it’s certainly a tricky one because Philippians talks about Jesus’s humility which is SO CLOSE to ours that it’s no wonder we get it confused.
Here’s what it says:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Jesus is kind of looking at Himself as less than He really is here, right? He’s thinking about others as more important than himself (He’s Jesus, so this is obviously not true in the grand scheme of things). He’s not looking at Himself as equal to God (even though He was God in the flesh), but He emptied Himself (He became nothing) even to the point of being a lowly bond-servant (or slave). This is so incredible, because in that time a bond-servant was someone who was indebted to their master. Jesus literally became a slave to all of those that He loved.
This is a struggle for us, so imagine the struggle it was for the Jews, who were waiting for a mighty and powerful King to come and set everything right. Instead, Jesus came as a slave to all mankind, taking on their debts as His own and giving them everything, even to the point of death.
This is humility.
Doesn’t it seem like if we just keep looking down on ourselves and saying we’re nothing and constantly serving that we will be truly humble?
Somehow, this doesn’t add up. There’s more here than just the actions of humility. We also have to look at His heart. Jesus did all of these things because HE TRULY LOVED. He was lowly and humble because He knew the bigger picture, He knew what He had to do to draw us back to Him.
When I’m “humble”, looking down on myself, or wearing myself thin in my servitude to others, I have to look at myself and ask, “WHY?” Why am I doing it? Am I doing this so that others will lift me back up? Am I doing it to prove my worth by my work or deeds? Am I doing it because I want others to love me? Am I doing it because it’s the right thing to do?
It must be more than that. My humility, my laying down my life for someone else, my thinking of others as more highly than myself, MUST originate in love. It must NOT originate from sense of duty or thoughts of “I SHOULD”. True humility can only work because I honestly and fully LOVE the Savior of my soul and all the other children He’s created. If my heart begins with love, I believe I can be truly humble, not just walking in some ‘substitute humility’ that exhausts and cripples me.
6/20/14
Love Is Serving
I’m trying to think of how I can serve more, or how I can be more of a servant. I’m not coming up with much that will actually work. Oh, I have all kinds of ideas on how to improve and serve more. But do you know what I don’t have? Time. Volunteer at a soup kitchen? That’s a great way to serve. But I work all day and have my kids alone all weekend. Cook someone a meal? Yeah, that would be great if I wasn’t going on vacation next week. Clean a new mom’s house? Sure, sure, but that will take too long so I’ll just hire someone else to do it.
It’s not that I don’t know HOW to serve, I just don’t know how to FIND THE TIME to serve. Being kind is super hard.
Don’t think too poorly of me. Mostly, I don’t have time to serve because I’m already serving. I’m constantly serving my kids and my husband. I try to watch my friend’s kids when they need help. I’m always having people over for dinner to serve them. I try to clean up when I’m at people’s houses (I learned this from a good friend who always cleans up at my house when she’s over and wow is it a blessing!) I visit friends who need a visitor. I write to people who may need an encouraging word. I pray. I feel like I do try to serve others. But there are so many people who serve a lot more than I do! I know I’m not doing as well as I could.
I think the "serving" that God wants from us in LOVE here is more precise. I think it’s listening, serving the person in need. I can’t think of any story to show “kindness” and “serving” better than The Good Samaritan. We know the story… a guy gets robbed and beat up and left on the side of the road to die. A bunch of good religious people see him and leave him there. But then this Samaritan (the guy's enemy) helps him, nurses him back to health and makes sure he’s okay. That is the kindness found in 1 Corinthians 13:4.
Am I like the Good Samaritan?
No, I’m just not. I generally leave others to fend for themselves. In fact, in emergency situations, I freeze. I am 90% sure that if one of my kids was about to fall off a cliff, I would instantly freeze instead of diving to save him. I know that sounds awful, but it’s probably true. When I see a bad situation unfolding, I go blank. Sometimes I pass out. (Hopefully if something like this ever happened, my husband would be around, because he is the total opposite! He instinctively runs TOWARD danger and saves everyone. HERO!)
But since Christ is in me, and I’m being made new with the renewing of my mind (Rom. 12:2), then I should be changing. I should be more of a servant. I should see when people need help, and be able to help them. That’s what Christ did. So if I’m taking on the nature of my Father and His Son a little more every day, then surely I can lend a helping hand to someone in need (in a timely fashion.)
It’s not just about danger and near-death experiences. There’s another point to be made from The Good Samaritan. These guys were enemies. They were from opposite sides of the track so to speak. Are there people in my life who need my help that I don’t want to help? Yeah *sigh*. Kindness in LOVE would help them.
Wouldn’t it be great, if we loved our enemies like Jesus said we should? “Serviceable kindness” would be a great place to start.
It’s not that I don’t know HOW to serve, I just don’t know how to FIND THE TIME to serve. Being kind is super hard.
Don’t think too poorly of me. Mostly, I don’t have time to serve because I’m already serving. I’m constantly serving my kids and my husband. I try to watch my friend’s kids when they need help. I’m always having people over for dinner to serve them. I try to clean up when I’m at people’s houses (I learned this from a good friend who always cleans up at my house when she’s over and wow is it a blessing!) I visit friends who need a visitor. I write to people who may need an encouraging word. I pray. I feel like I do try to serve others. But there are so many people who serve a lot more than I do! I know I’m not doing as well as I could.
I think the "serving" that God wants from us in LOVE here is more precise. I think it’s listening, serving the person in need. I can’t think of any story to show “kindness” and “serving” better than The Good Samaritan. We know the story… a guy gets robbed and beat up and left on the side of the road to die. A bunch of good religious people see him and leave him there. But then this Samaritan (the guy's enemy) helps him, nurses him back to health and makes sure he’s okay. That is the kindness found in 1 Corinthians 13:4.
Am I like the Good Samaritan?
No, I’m just not. I generally leave others to fend for themselves. In fact, in emergency situations, I freeze. I am 90% sure that if one of my kids was about to fall off a cliff, I would instantly freeze instead of diving to save him. I know that sounds awful, but it’s probably true. When I see a bad situation unfolding, I go blank. Sometimes I pass out. (Hopefully if something like this ever happened, my husband would be around, because he is the total opposite! He instinctively runs TOWARD danger and saves everyone. HERO!)
But since Christ is in me, and I’m being made new with the renewing of my mind (Rom. 12:2), then I should be changing. I should be more of a servant. I should see when people need help, and be able to help them. That’s what Christ did. So if I’m taking on the nature of my Father and His Son a little more every day, then surely I can lend a helping hand to someone in need (in a timely fashion.)
It’s not just about danger and near-death experiences. There’s another point to be made from The Good Samaritan. These guys were enemies. They were from opposite sides of the track so to speak. Are there people in my life who need my help that I don’t want to help? Yeah *sigh*. Kindness in LOVE would help them.
Wouldn’t it be great, if we loved our enemies like Jesus said we should? “Serviceable kindness” would be a great place to start.
6/18/14
A New Meaning for “Kind”
Being “kind” is confusing. I know we’re all wondering if it’s more than just being nice or polite. So what is kindness and how do we practice it?
The Greek word used in 1 Corinthians 13:4 is pretty interesting and not even close to the word “nice”. The actual definition for the word here is: “I am kind (full of service to others), gentle.”
Weird. I am….full of service to others? Another site defines it like this: "useful, profitable, well-fit for what is really needed; kindness that is also serviceable.” They are getting this because of the Word Origin (meaning the word here is a variant of the original word: χρηστός or chréstos) which means “serviceable, good”.
In other words love isn’t just kind as we understand the word kind. Love is useful or full of service.
So if I love, I am useful to those I love. If I love, I am of service to those I love. Or I could say I am a servant to those I love. That makes sense doesn’t it? You know who was THE perfect example of “servant”? I’m sure you can figure that out.
The kindness here is an action. Oh man! I was hoping it was simpler than that. I was hoping I could just be nicer for a week. It looks like I have to actually be aware of God speaking to me, and listen to Him when He tells me to DO something for someone.
Have you ever heard of the Five Love Languages? It’s a book and idea that we express and receive love in 5 different ways. One of those ways is “acts of service”. You may feel really loved when someone serves you, or you may show love by serving.
I bring this up because it ties some of this together for me. God is saying here that LOVE is 'usefully kind’. So if we walk in love, we will be naturally useful, naturally serving others. And guess what? One in 5 people (not a precise calculation) may actually see these acts of service as LOVE! They may feel loved because of your kindness, your service.
That’s pretty cool.
I think to really understand Week Two we need to change “Love is Kind” to “Love is Serving”.
So how does God want me to serve today?
The Greek word used in 1 Corinthians 13:4 is pretty interesting and not even close to the word “nice”. The actual definition for the word here is: “I am kind (full of service to others), gentle.”
Weird. I am….full of service to others? Another site defines it like this: "useful, profitable, well-fit for what is really needed; kindness that is also serviceable.” They are getting this because of the Word Origin (meaning the word here is a variant of the original word: χρηστός or chréstos) which means “serviceable, good”.
In other words love isn’t just kind as we understand the word kind. Love is useful or full of service.
So if I love, I am useful to those I love. If I love, I am of service to those I love. Or I could say I am a servant to those I love. That makes sense doesn’t it? You know who was THE perfect example of “servant”? I’m sure you can figure that out.
The kindness here is an action. Oh man! I was hoping it was simpler than that. I was hoping I could just be nicer for a week. It looks like I have to actually be aware of God speaking to me, and listen to Him when He tells me to DO something for someone.
Have you ever heard of the Five Love Languages? It’s a book and idea that we express and receive love in 5 different ways. One of those ways is “acts of service”. You may feel really loved when someone serves you, or you may show love by serving.
I bring this up because it ties some of this together for me. God is saying here that LOVE is 'usefully kind’. So if we walk in love, we will be naturally useful, naturally serving others. And guess what? One in 5 people (not a precise calculation) may actually see these acts of service as LOVE! They may feel loved because of your kindness, your service.
That’s pretty cool.
I think to really understand Week Two we need to change “Love is Kind” to “Love is Serving”.
So how does God want me to serve today?
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