This week has made me tired. I have been open to God showing me pride in my own life, because pride tends to blind us to itself. So this week, I was asking God to show me where I struggled with pride but didn’t know it. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I am now officially blown away. I have some serious issues. I need help. I already knew this, trust me, but this week God showed me something that I have struggled with forever. It was already there, and I’ve even seen it before, but this week, God showed me a mountain in my life.
I’m too hard on myself. I have very high standards, and I’m constantly not living up to them. Since I’ve learned a little about grace in my walk, I’ve changed my standards…for everyone else. I can now give grace to others and not desire them to live up to my standards. This was really necessary, trust me, I love so much more deeply now that I’m not afraid of everyone doing everything imperfectly.
But it isn’t ending there. I’ve been in pain this week. I’ve been exhausted. Partly because I’ve been searching and listening and open to God. But mostly because I feel like pride is so deep and so huge that I’ll never stop dealing with it. It is a huge mountain towering in front of me, I see no way through it or around it.
The good part is that God says if I have faith even as small as a mustard seed, I can tell this mountain to throw itself into the sea, and it will.
Not by my might or power, but by God’s Spirit. His will, His grace, His salvation. He isn’t just saving me from death or hell, sometimes He’s also saving me from…me.
We sing a song in our church called Centuries that has a lyric, “What can man to do me?” It’s a beautiful song about resting in God and finding peace in Him alone. As we sang it today, I realized that the “man” in that line is really me. I am my own worst enemy. I am the mountain that stops me from being who I really am. I am the mountain that keeps me from pursuing and chasing the Wild Love I so desire.
But I am also the mustard seed. I can have faith that moves the mountain through Christ in me.
My new prayer is from another song we sing by Ember Days, “Oh, move the mountains, oh, part the seas, Lord. You healed the lepers when they called Your name. You heal the broken, so will You heal me?”
I don’t know how to walk in grace towards myself. It’s something my pride won’t allow me to do, because I like being right and I like being ‘above reproach’ and I want to live to a higher calling because I think that’s what God wants for me. But when I live this way based on pride, I’m missing the entire point of God’s love and grace to His creation.
It’s also not working. This is another realization that has really depressed me this week. Being really hard on myself, beating myself up, and constantly trying to force myself to be better is not actually working. Sure, I can bite my tongue once in a while, but I still say stupid things that hurt people. Sure, I can be a little more patient when there’s a stupid driver in front of me, but I still burst out at my children sometimes. Sure, I can make a list of ways that I’m thankful, but I still analyze my actions constantly and come out six feet under. I don’t want to live like that anymore, because it’s not helping me be a better person. I have to go back to the beginning: live in love, not fear. I have to believe that the more I love God and the more I understand His love for me, the better person I will become. “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all else will be added to you.” If my desire is to do what God wants me to do, and to understand His love, and to pursue Him, He can help me to see the truth about myself, and to accept who I am - not trying to be more than I am, but resting in the fact that He Is.
We heard at church today that some mountains simply crumble and fall into the sea, but some mountains erode slowly during different storms. I’ve seen God erode my mountain during a storm, but I find myself building it back up again. After all, it’s familiar, it’s safe, I’m not sure what will happen when I can’t hide behind it anymore. But I think I am now determined to let the storms come and erode this mountain. I’m determined to destroy the tools and materials that help me build it back up. I’m determined to believe so strongly in God’s power and grace that He can remove this mountain. Even Pride Mountain.
Walking in love one week at a time.
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
7/13/14
7/12/14
The Opposite of Pride (Part 2)
Humility. For me, it may be one of the most complicated subjects in the bible. We know we need to be humble. But somewhere along the lines, we settle for something that looks and feels like humility, but really is not. Part of it is the “victim” mentality that you may have read in the last post written by Heather Slagsvol. She gives such great insight into this “false humility” and I’m so grateful for her thoughts. It’s easier to seem humble when we’re constantly the victim, when bad things are always happening “to” us by others in all their pride and selfishness.
But then there’s this other part: the people who actually see themselves as unworthy or having no value. This is NOT true humility. But it’s certainly a tricky one because Philippians talks about Jesus’s humility which is SO CLOSE to ours that it’s no wonder we get it confused.
Here’s what it says:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Jesus is kind of looking at Himself as less than He really is here, right? He’s thinking about others as more important than himself (He’s Jesus, so this is obviously not true in the grand scheme of things). He’s not looking at Himself as equal to God (even though He was God in the flesh), but He emptied Himself (He became nothing) even to the point of being a lowly bond-servant (or slave). This is so incredible, because in that time a bond-servant was someone who was indebted to their master. Jesus literally became a slave to all of those that He loved.
This is a struggle for us, so imagine the struggle it was for the Jews, who were waiting for a mighty and powerful King to come and set everything right. Instead, Jesus came as a slave to all mankind, taking on their debts as His own and giving them everything, even to the point of death.
This is humility.
Doesn’t it seem like if we just keep looking down on ourselves and saying we’re nothing and constantly serving that we will be truly humble?
Somehow, this doesn’t add up. There’s more here than just the actions of humility. We also have to look at His heart. Jesus did all of these things because HE TRULY LOVED. He was lowly and humble because He knew the bigger picture, He knew what He had to do to draw us back to Him.
When I’m “humble”, looking down on myself, or wearing myself thin in my servitude to others, I have to look at myself and ask, “WHY?” Why am I doing it? Am I doing this so that others will lift me back up? Am I doing it to prove my worth by my work or deeds? Am I doing it because I want others to love me? Am I doing it because it’s the right thing to do?
It must be more than that. My humility, my laying down my life for someone else, my thinking of others as more highly than myself, MUST originate in love. It must NOT originate from sense of duty or thoughts of “I SHOULD”. True humility can only work because I honestly and fully LOVE the Savior of my soul and all the other children He’s created. If my heart begins with love, I believe I can be truly humble, not just walking in some ‘substitute humility’ that exhausts and cripples me.
But then there’s this other part: the people who actually see themselves as unworthy or having no value. This is NOT true humility. But it’s certainly a tricky one because Philippians talks about Jesus’s humility which is SO CLOSE to ours that it’s no wonder we get it confused.
Here’s what it says:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Jesus is kind of looking at Himself as less than He really is here, right? He’s thinking about others as more important than himself (He’s Jesus, so this is obviously not true in the grand scheme of things). He’s not looking at Himself as equal to God (even though He was God in the flesh), but He emptied Himself (He became nothing) even to the point of being a lowly bond-servant (or slave). This is so incredible, because in that time a bond-servant was someone who was indebted to their master. Jesus literally became a slave to all of those that He loved.
This is a struggle for us, so imagine the struggle it was for the Jews, who were waiting for a mighty and powerful King to come and set everything right. Instead, Jesus came as a slave to all mankind, taking on their debts as His own and giving them everything, even to the point of death.
This is humility.
Doesn’t it seem like if we just keep looking down on ourselves and saying we’re nothing and constantly serving that we will be truly humble?
Somehow, this doesn’t add up. There’s more here than just the actions of humility. We also have to look at His heart. Jesus did all of these things because HE TRULY LOVED. He was lowly and humble because He knew the bigger picture, He knew what He had to do to draw us back to Him.
When I’m “humble”, looking down on myself, or wearing myself thin in my servitude to others, I have to look at myself and ask, “WHY?” Why am I doing it? Am I doing this so that others will lift me back up? Am I doing it to prove my worth by my work or deeds? Am I doing it because I want others to love me? Am I doing it because it’s the right thing to do?
It must be more than that. My humility, my laying down my life for someone else, my thinking of others as more highly than myself, MUST originate in love. It must NOT originate from sense of duty or thoughts of “I SHOULD”. True humility can only work because I honestly and fully LOVE the Savior of my soul and all the other children He’s created. If my heart begins with love, I believe I can be truly humble, not just walking in some ‘substitute humility’ that exhausts and cripples me.
6/9/14
LOVE - The 15 Weeks to LOVE Challenge
Yesterday, to kick off the campaign, I gave a teaching about LOVE at Family of Hope Church in Saugerties, NY (check out the video if you’d like to hear it. Here is a link in case you can't see the video above https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfnE68bMp8s&feature=em-uploademail). This is my home church, and I’m so happy to be sharing this campaign with my family here and teaming up with them to make it a success. I’m also encouraged by other friends and family who are joining the campaign in their lives, and in their churches. Just think if we ALL grasped the importance of learning to really love! We could actually change the voice in our nation and start showing people God’s love!
I’m super excited! But I am also a little embarrassed that I don’t already love like I was supposed to. I think there comes a little repentance in the beginning. Realizing how short I’ve fallen from what God wanted for me. But here’s the beautiful part: we don’t need to sit and feel condemned.
We sing a song in our church that says “Death to the past it’s gone. Here’s to a new beginning.” Let’s start fresh in love. You may already be loving WAY more than me, but I know we’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. (I know this because the bible says it.) So just because you’re a lot better at loving than me doesn’t mean you’re good at it compared to let’s say…Jesus.
I’ve been told this idea is radical. It’s a little out there. And I get it. But it really shouldn’t be. Jesus was radical, right? Jesus was a little out there. But we don’t call ourselves ‘Christians’ for no reason. It has a purpose. It’s because we’re Christ-followers. We’re Jesus followers. And right now, we need to think a little outside the box to undo some of the damage we’ve done and move in the right direction.
Check out the teaching and consider joining us. Ask your friends or co-workers or your church to join us as well. If we work together, I really believe we can make a difference in this world!
6/5/14
15 Weeks to Love
WHY?
In John 13:35, Jesus tells us, "...everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."The voice of the church in this country is many things: judgement, correction, criticism, but love seems far away. Don't get me wrong, there are many acts of love; good people loving Jesus and serving others. But unfortunately, the majority of the church, or at least the loudest voices, are not portraying the love Jesus requires us to.
Our lack of love has caused so much pain...to all of us. Not only do we not love 'the world', we also don't love each other. How many Christians do you know have been hurt by other Christians? Let's face it, sometimes we're just too sensitive, but mostly we don't love each other like we should. How will anyone know we are His disciples if we don't love each other?
It's time to stand up and show the world what love is. Let's make the voice of love louder, so that not only will others know we're His disciples, they'll want to join in this irresistible, unstoppable love!
HOW?
15 Weeks to Love is a campaign to promote love in our lives by applying the 15 attributes of love shown in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. We'll apply one attribute to our lives each week, building additional attributes until we are fully walking in love.Week 1. Love is patient
Week 2. Love is kind
Week 3. Love is not envious/jealous
Week 4. Love does not brag/boast
Week 5. Love is not arrogant/proud
Week 6. Love is not rude/does not dishonor others
Week 7. Love does not seek its own/demand its own way
Week 8. Love is not irritable/easily angered
Week 9. Love does not count wrongs suffered/keep a record of wrongs
Week 10. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness or delight in evil
Week 11. Love rejoices with truth/when truth wins
Week 12. Love never gives up/always protects
Week 13. Love always trusts/never loses faith
Week 14. Love always hopes
Week 15. Love always perseveres/endures
FEAR OF SIN
Our biggest challenge here is to not be afraid of sin. We're so scared that extending more love and grace will cause sin. This is a lie! And it's a purposeful one to keep you from loving to the fullest, the way Jesus called you to love. Just lay down your whole 'what's right and wrong' thing for 15 weeks and try to love more.Jesus said, 'if you love me, you will obey my commandments.' So if we can get people to enter into this love, maybe HE can get them to obey Him. Maybe the more we love Him, the less we sin. It's true! It's in the bible.
Right now, our fear of sin (and sinners) is so much louder than our desire to love that it drowns love out and makes it non-existent. No one can hear your love when they hear your judgment. Let God convict others. You just love them.
Love so that when people hear God's word, they can embrace it, not despise it.
Love, giving no reason to reject the conviction that God WILL place in people's hearts. Conviction isn't your job. It's His.
Love your spouse, love your kids, love your boss, love your friends, love His children. That's our job.
His job is to make people holy. And when we teach people how to love Him, they'll accept His correction and discipline. (I just have to point out because I know you may still be doubting, that I am not promoting sin. I am not saying there is no such thing as sin. Sin is real. I'm just saying, let's look at it the way God does.)
I know it may be hard, but if you can lay down your fear of sin for these 15 weeks and just try to walk in love…I think you'll be really surprised at the results, and you'll want to let go of fear and walk in love forever! Because hey, love never fails.
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