An Angry Dream

Last night I was studying the original Greek for this text and looking up verses trying to find another angle to write about. The best biblical translation I found was “is not easily provoked”. But more in depth study brought me to an interesting definition for this Greek word “provoke”. It has more feeling to it than just being annoyed or impatient. The word itself was defined like this: to arouse anger, provoke, irritate, to incite ("jab") someone and stimulate their feelings, become emotionally provoked (upset, roused to anger), getting to someone, spurring someone to action.

Spurring someone to action. Our anger does spur us into action, doesn’t it? Anger can make us want to punch something, yell loudly, leave, or if you're like me, you’ll cry (and maybe do those other things too.)

I wrote down all the things I studied, but then walked away and asked God to give me some kind of revelation about what it means that Love is Not Easily Angered. Here’s what happened:

I had one of those dreams that was so intense I still believed it to be true even after I woke up.  In my dream, my husband was being a total jerk. My children and I were being attacked and instead of helping us, he acted like I was overreacting. We kept fighting and fighting and he was just so obviously wrong. I was furious. I had every right to be. I might have even punched him in the face. I at least thought about it. I started wondering what was wrong with him. Eventually, I took our kids and left, and told him I didn’t want to hear from him until he was ready to apologize.

At this point I half woke up.  I was so angry with him because it felt so real, I refused to roll over to hug him and let the relief of reality pour in. I decided to stay angry, and stay where I was in bed with my back to him. Somehow I was back in the dream, right where I had left him, and the ground began to make metallic clinking sounds. I looked down to see what it was, and realized... I was in chains.

God spoke immediately to my heart: “THIS IS THE RESULT OF CHOOSING ANGER.”

WHOA. I had every right to be angry, believe me, if I went into the details of the dream, you would agree. I was in the right. I could even go so far as to say I was “righteous.” My righteous anger was in full gear, protecting my children and everything that was good in the world. But when I decided to WALK in anger, instead of love, I found myself immediately in chains.

The bible says, “in your anger, do not sin.” (Ephesians 4:26) The actual emotion of anger itself is not a sin. It’s okay to be mad. It’s okay to be angry when someone hurts you. Even Jesus was angry a few times. But what are you going to do with it? You have a choice to make, to act in your anger and pain, or to act in Love. God allows us this choice, because without choice, there would be no true love. If we choose incorrectly, we set out to punish the person who caused our pain, but instead, we punish ourselves. We lock ourselves into chains that immobilize us and keep us living in fear, far from love.

I do NOT want to live in chains. The good news is that God doesn’t want me to either.

He’s rooting for me. He’s rooting for you. He’s there to show us how to walk in Love, even when we’re hurt and angry.

This is tough. It goes against our human nature. There is a part of us that doesn’t want to be taken advantage of, or to let things go, or to forgive. We believe that if we do, we’ll be teaching people they can constantly sin against us. If someone hurts me, I have to punish them, rebuke them, convict them so that they learn not to do it anymore. We fear that if we love people the way God calls us to, our lives will be worse and we’ll be in constant pain. So we do not love, because…we fear those things.

The reason we believe this is because, I think, it’s partly true. BUT God calls us to walk this way anyway. Think about it. Jesus could have lived differently on earth. He could have followed the law like the Pharisees instead of following the Love of the Father. But He chose love. He understood the HEART of the law, because He understood the Father, and He walked according to what the law was actually about...Love. This drove the religious people crazy. He chose Love, so He suffered and died for it.

It’s possible that some of our choosing Love may actually cause us pain. We may suffer for it. But I’m certain in the New Testament Jesus says a few times that we will need to take up our own cross. He promises some tough stuff for those who walk in the truth, doesn’t He?

The other side of it is that, this fear isn’t based entirely on truth. We can not “convict” other people for the pain they cause us. Only the Holy Spirit can convict a heart. When we think we’re “convicting” or “helping”, usually we’re rebuking and judging. Mostly, this pushes someone farther away, because we’re not being loving, and they know it. So in actuality, the only way to stop this vicious cycle is by loving someone, praying for them, and allowing the Holy Spirit to do the work in their hearts that will show them how to love better. Eventually they may love you in such a way that it doesn’t hurt anymore.

We are afraid that when the bible says "Love COVERS sin" (also called grace), it means that "Love ACCEPTS sin" (also called tolerance), but this is NOT the case. Accepting sin and saying it's okay based on a “tolerance” outlook is not the same as covering sin based in love. We’ll talk more about this next week.

We’ve talked about fear. We know we need to choose to live in love and not fear. James gave us a really great way to walk in this when he said in his letter, “perfect love casts out all fear.” If I take up my cross, and give up all my “rights” and start walking in love, my fear of being hurt and taken advantage of will start to fade away. If I really walk in love, I won’t be able to walk in fear. I’ll have to let it all go, because I’ve chosen the Way of Love, and Love casts out fear. Then, when I'm really loving God and those around me, I might encourage them to do the same.

**I feel the need to point out that if you're in an abusive situation, I'm not encouraging you to cover someone else's sin to the point of your physical detriment. You can love and give grace from a distance when safety is at stake.**

Pride Mountain

This week has made me tired. I have been open to God showing me pride in my own life, because pride tends to blind us to itself. So this week, I was asking God to show me where I struggled with pride but didn’t know it. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I am now officially blown away. I have some serious issues. I need help. I already knew this, trust me, but this week God showed me something that I have struggled with forever. It was already there, and I’ve even seen it before, but this week, God showed me a mountain in my life.

I’m too hard on myself. I have very high standards, and I’m constantly not living up to them. Since I’ve learned a little about grace in my walk, I’ve changed my standards…for everyone else. I can now give grace to others and not desire them to live up to my standards. This was really necessary, trust me, I love so much more deeply now that I’m not afraid of everyone doing everything imperfectly.

But it isn’t ending there. I’ve been in pain this week. I’ve been exhausted. Partly because I’ve been searching and listening and open to God. But mostly because I feel like pride is so deep and so huge that I’ll never stop dealing with it. It is a huge mountain towering in front of me, I see no way through it or around it.

The good part is that God says if I have faith even as small as a mustard seed, I can tell this mountain to throw itself into the sea, and it will.

Not by my might or power, but by God’s Spirit. His will, His grace, His salvation. He isn’t just saving me from death or hell, sometimes He’s also saving me from…me.

We sing a song in our church called Centuries that has a lyric, “What can man to do me?” It’s a beautiful song about resting in God and finding peace in Him alone. As we sang it today, I realized that the “man” in that line is really me. I am my own worst enemy. I am the mountain that stops me from being who I really am. I am the mountain that keeps me from pursuing and chasing the Wild Love I so desire.

But I am also the mustard seed. I can have faith that moves the mountain through Christ in me.

My new prayer is from another song we sing by Ember Days, “Oh, move the mountains, oh, part the seas, Lord. You healed the lepers when they called Your name. You heal the broken, so will You heal me?”

I don’t know how to walk in grace towards myself. It’s something my pride won’t allow me to do, because I like being right and I like being ‘above reproach’ and I want to live to a higher calling because I think that’s what God wants for me. But when I live this way based on pride, I’m missing the entire point of God’s love and grace to His creation.

It’s also not working. This is another realization that has really depressed me this week. Being really hard on myself, beating myself up, and constantly trying to force myself to be better is not actually working. Sure, I can bite my tongue once in a while, but I still say stupid things that hurt people. Sure, I can be a little more patient when there’s a stupid driver in front of me, but I still burst out at my children sometimes. Sure, I can make a list of ways that I’m thankful, but I still analyze my actions constantly and come out six feet under. I don’t want to live like that anymore, because it’s not helping me be a better person. I have to go back to the beginning: live in love, not fear. I have to believe that the more I love God and the more I understand His love for me, the better person I will become. “Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all else will be added to you.” If my desire is to do what God wants me to do, and to understand His love, and to pursue Him, He can help me to see the truth about myself, and to accept who I am - not trying to be more than I am, but resting in the fact that He Is.

We heard at church today that some mountains simply crumble and fall into the sea, but some mountains erode slowly during different storms. I’ve seen God erode my mountain during a storm, but I find myself building it back up again. After all, it’s familiar, it’s safe, I’m not sure what will happen when I can’t hide behind it anymore. But I think I am now determined to let the storms come and erode this mountain. I’m determined to destroy the tools and materials that help me build it back up. I’m determined to believe so strongly in God’s power and grace that He can remove this mountain. Even Pride Mountain.

Week 4: Love Does Not Boast

This is a funny one for me, as I come from a family of boasters.  We don’t mean any harm.  We would be genuinely happy for you if you did something great, so we assume if we do something great, you’ll be happy for us, too. I know it can be annoying. I’ve seen people’s faces. I’ve heard their comments. I’ve even seen people pull away and be bitter. Why? Why does it bother people so much when someone is bragging? Think about it. Is it really THAT big of a deal?

Well, God seems to think so.

Bragging is instantly annoying to others because it’s like saying, “I care more about myself than you.”  Generally, humans actually believe this, but bragging displays right out in the open (in your face), “I don’t care about you.” That isn’t actually what I’m thinking when I brag. It’s usually more like, “maybe if this person knew the things I do, they’ll like me and be my friend.”  How ironic.

If I actually loved everyone the way God called me to, I would be eager to hear what THEY have to say, not eager to tell them how great I am. 

In my case, and probably for a lot of others as well, it stems from an insecurity. If you catch me talking about myself, it’s usually because I’m so nervous we’ll be standing together in silence and awkwardness with nothing to say. I have explained recently to some women in my church that if I just stop talking and walk away, it’s because I generally don’t know how to carry on a conversation successfully, so I leave when I have nothing else to say. I’m not really sure what I’m nervous about, but nonetheless, in addition to loving better, I’m working on my people skills.

The original Greek word found in 1 Corinthians 13:4 means “to boast or point to oneself.” I like this phrase, “to point to oneself” because it is the opposite of love. Love points outward. Love lifts up, encourages, and exults. Not to itself but to God and others. Boasting is a form of selfishness. My fear of empty space in conversation is also a form of selfishness. If I cared more about you, maybe I’d be able to converse better with you. I’m not great on the spot, so usually when I know I’ll see someone, I think of a list of about 10 questions to ask them when the moment is ready. This is just an exercise for me to get better at talking and listening, but it’s also teaching me how to think about other people instead of myself.

If Love does NOT Boast, than maybe this week I should try to be a better listener, caring more about what others have to say than getting all my thoughts out. Want to try it with me?

LOVE - The 15 Weeks to LOVE Challenge

Yesterday, to kick off the campaign, I gave a teaching about LOVE at Family of Hope Church in Saugerties, NY (check out the video if you’d like to hear it. Here is a link in case you can't see the video above https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfnE68bMp8s&feature=em-uploademail).  This is my home church, and I’m so happy to be sharing this campaign with my family here and teaming up with them to make it a success.  I’m also encouraged by other friends and family who are joining the campaign in their lives, and in their churches. Just think if we ALL grasped the importance of learning to really love! We could actually change the voice in our nation and start showing people God’s love!

I’m super excited! But I am also a little embarrassed that I don’t already love like I was supposed to. I think there comes a little repentance in the beginning. Realizing how short I’ve fallen from what God wanted for me. But here’s the beautiful part: we don’t need to sit and feel condemned.

We sing a song in our church that says “Death to the past it’s gone. Here’s to a new beginning.”  Let’s start fresh in love. You may already be loving WAY more than me, but I know we’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. (I know this because the bible says it.) So just because you’re a lot better at loving than me doesn’t mean you’re good at it compared to let’s say…Jesus.

I’ve been told this idea is radical. It’s a little out there. And I get it. But it really shouldn’t be. Jesus was radical, right? Jesus was a little out there. But we don’t call ourselves ‘Christians’ for no reason. It has a purpose. It’s because we’re Christ-followers. We’re Jesus followers. And right now, we need to think a little outside the box to undo some of the damage we’ve done and move in the right direction.

Check out the teaching and consider joining us. Ask your friends or co-workers or your church to join us as well. If we work together, I really believe we can make a difference in this world!

Why Love is more important than sin.

Okay, so we’re going to stop walking in fear, and start walking in love. This doesn’t mean we’re accepting sin and saying it’s okay. We’re just saying we’re going to stop focusing on what’s ‘right and wrong’ and start focusing on love. 

Do you know why this is important? Because God can wipe sin away in one second. God can literally remove it from us: as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12) We know this. We know Jesus wipes our sin away. “My sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.”  Right?

But do you know how long it has taken God to get us to LOVE Him? It’s the year 2014 AD, which means it’s been like…two thousand years since Christ came, and how many more thousands were before that? (I honestly don’t know, although I’m sure I could google it.)

We still haven’t gotten it. We still don’t love him with all our hearts and with all our minds and with all our strength. AND THIS IS WHAT HE’S LOOKING FOR!  This is what He created us for!  So isn’t it possible that LOVING HIM may be more important than NOT SINNING, which He can take care of (and has already taken care of) in one second?

There’s a lot of things that Jesus did in the bible that we kind of feel like….well that’s great for Him but that doesn’t actually work. There’s a limit. You gotta draw the line somewhere. It’s just not practical. I’m a very practical person, so I get it. But I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t come down and tell us to be like Him just for fun. He served a pretty serious sentence, and actually requires and expects us to do what He says.

I was thinking of this story in the bible:  Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22)  I know seventy times seven is 490, but I think the point is to stop counting. 

Here’s how the story goes in my mind: I go up to Jesus and I say, Ok yeah, yeah, forgiveness is great, but how many times do I REALLY forgive? There’s a limit right? I mean your whole hippie, peace, love and forgiveness thing sounds really nice on paper, but you don’t expect us to actually live this out?  Cause my neighbor has done this thing to me 7 times and I’ve forgiven him all 7 times Jesus, but if he does it again, he’s dead to me. That's acceptable, right?

Jesus puts his head down and just shakes it back and forth slowly. How does she not get this? No, not seven times. Stop counting.  He follows this conversation directly with a story about a servant who owed a TON of money to this rich guy but he pleaded for mercy and the guy forgives him his debt and sends him home. But when he gets home he demands this really small debt from his friend and does terrible things to him because he can’t pay. Do you know why Jesus tells this story directly after his conversation with Peter? Because he’s saying, "Peter, or J.J. (that’s me), you’re the one with the huge $100,000 debt, and I forgave it, because you asked me to. Your brother causing you pain 7 times (I know it hurts), but it’s like a $10 debt compared to yours! And you think it’s too great to forgive? Change your perspective, and keep forgiving.

So is 15 Weeks to LOVE possible? Is it practical? Can it work? Yes! We just have to change how we think.

That’s what this is all about. Changing how we think, how we act, and how we feel -- taking on God’s heart and replacing our shortcomings with His love.

Love is on tap.

We’re not meant to do this in our own strength. This is really key here. We’re not just trying to be better people, doing good deeds, making people smile, although that will probably take place.  (In general, if we love, we’ll be better people.) But that’s not the point. The point is to allow the ‘Christ in me’ thing to take place. Christ in me, the hope of glory. (Col 1:27)  That is my only hope here. I can’t fully walk in love without God completely helping me out.

My Goal:  Learn how to let ‘Christ in me’ shine through all my natural stuff: my impatience, my selfishness, my memory (or lack thereof), my flesh, and just let Him take over and do His work through me. I almost think of it like I’m “tapping in” to this part inside me, and I’m going to allow it to spring forth. So what’s on tap today? Jesus. And Love. Love is on tap.

15 Weeks to Love

 

WHY?

In John 13:35, Jesus tells us, "...everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

The voice of the church in this country is many things: judgement, correction, criticism, but love seems far away. Don't get me wrong, there are many acts of love; good people loving Jesus and serving others. But unfortunately, the majority of the church, or at least the loudest voices, are not portraying the love Jesus requires us to.

Our lack of love has caused so much pain...to all of us. Not only do we not love 'the world', we also don't love each other. How many Christians do you know have been hurt by other Christians?  Let's face it, sometimes we're just too sensitive, but mostly we don't love each other like we should.  How will anyone know we are His disciples if we don't love each other?

It's time to stand up and show the world what love is. Let's make the voice of love louder, so that not only will others know we're His disciples, they'll want to join in this irresistible, unstoppable love!

HOW?

15 Weeks to Love is a campaign to promote love in our lives by applying the 15 attributes of love shown in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  We'll apply one attribute to our lives each week, building additional attributes until we are fully walking in love.

Week 1.    Love is patient
Week 2.    Love is kind
Week 3.    Love is not envious/jealous
Week 4.    Love does not brag/boast
Week 5.    Love is not arrogant/proud
Week 6.    Love is not rude/does not dishonor others
Week 7.    Love does not seek its own/demand its own way
Week 8.    Love is not irritable/easily angered
Week 9.    Love does not count wrongs suffered/keep a record of wrongs
Week 10.    Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness or delight in evil
Week 11.    Love rejoices with truth/when truth wins
Week 12.    Love never gives up/always protects
Week 13.    Love always trusts/never loses faith
Week 14.    Love always hopes
Week 15.    Love always perseveres/endures

FEAR OF SIN

Our biggest challenge here is to not be afraid of sin. We're so scared that extending more love and grace will cause sin. This is a lie! And it's a purposeful one to keep you from loving to the fullest, the way Jesus called you to love. Just lay down your whole 'what's right and wrong' thing for 15 weeks and try to love more.

Jesus said, 'if you love me, you will obey my commandments.' So if we can get people to enter into this love, maybe HE can get them to obey Him. Maybe the more we love Him, the less we sin. It's true! It's in the bible.

Right now, our fear of sin (and sinners) is so much louder than our desire to love that it drowns love out and makes it non-existent. No one can hear your love when they hear your judgment. Let God convict others. You just love them.

Love so that when people hear God's word, they can embrace it, not despise it.

Love, giving no reason to reject the conviction that God WILL place in people's hearts. Conviction isn't your job. It's His.

Love your spouse, love your kids, love your boss, love your friends, love His children. That's our job.

His job is to make people holy. And when we teach people how to love Him, they'll accept His correction and discipline. (I just have to point out because I know you may still be doubting, that I am not promoting sin. I am not saying there is no such thing as sin. Sin is real. I'm just saying, let's look at it the way God does.)

I know it may be hard, but if you can lay down your fear of sin for these 15 weeks and just try to walk in love…I think you'll be really surprised at the results, and you'll want to let go of fear and walk in love forever! Because hey, love never fails.